feel ko lang

emo-emohan ako today, hindi pa naman suicidal. bigo lang siyet. i tried my best naman. gusto ko talaga sya makita eh.

"Take Me With You"

Please Forgive me if I seem forward,

But I've never been in front of anything like you,

It's the last place I ever thought I'd be when I woke up this morning,

Is it true that you are always this breathtaking?,

And you're smart and you're willing,

And my god this is killing me,

Tell me all the things you never said,

We can lie here and talk for hours in my bed,

I don't have anything to hide,

I don't have anything everything is not for certain,

I don't have anything to hide,

I don't have anything everything is not for certain,

You started to see right through me,

And I'm loving every minute of it,

It's like I'm born again every time I breathe in so,

If you're curious my favorite color's blue,

And I like to sing in the shower,

If you like I'll sing to you,

Tell me all the things you never said,

We can lie here and talk for hours in my bed,

I don't have anything to hide,

I don't have anything everything is not for certain,

I don't have anything to hide,

I don't have anything everything is not for certain,

Tell me all of your hopes,

All of your dreams,

I want you to take me there (take me there),

Tell me all of your hopes,

All of your dreams,

I want to take you there (take you there),

Tell me everything,

Every breath,

I want you to know I'll be there (know I'll be there),

There's just one more thing,

One request,

I want you to take me with you,

Take me with you,

I will never let you down,

I will love you now and forever (now and forever),

***********************************************

eto like ko lang. never gets outdated.

Bday eksena

Its like another ordinary day during my bday. Walang bago. Hindi naman uso ang celebration sa bahay. Never naman ako nagkaparty sa bahay kahit simpleng balloon lang ala. Buti pa ang araw ng patay cncelebrate. Buti pa yung mga kapitbahay ko kahit walang pangbayad sa meralco nakakapagvideoke pa sa bday nila. I mean masaya sila.

Nakasanayan na namin siguro ang hindi magcelebrate. Hindi ko rin naman siguro gugustuhin ang eksena. Ok na rin ako siguro sa simpleng cake at konting kain lang. Ayoko ng attention pag bday ko. Hindi naman ako espesyal kaya hindi ko rin naman kailangan ng special treatment. Maalala lang siguro ng mga piling espesyal na tao na bday ko ok na un.

Emo lang talaga ako siguro tuwing bday ko kaya nga ayoko nagbbday eh. Takot ako tumanda. Greatest fear ko na ata yun. Ayoko tumanda. Eh may choice ba ko? Wala. Kaya ayoko naaalala na 1yr older na naman ako whaaa!

Ngayon may isa pang dahilan kung bat ako emo. Naalala ko bigla lolo ko. 1yr ago maga mata ko nun nagkita kami. Kung anu man yun last year pa yun. Wala, naalala ko lang sya ngayon. Isa sya sa mga taong hindi nakalimot sa bday ko. March pa lang nakaready na regalo nun sakin. Tapos january pa lang pinapaalala na nya na bday ko na. Every month tuwing pupunta ko sa kanya o bibisita magulang ko sa kanya pinapaalala nya na pumunta ko sa bahay nya para kunin regalo ko. Wala syang mintis. Kotse ko na yung last bday gift nya (well, tinulungan nya ko sa down). Namiss ko sya =( Maga na naman mata ko as usual. Baka maging tradisyon na ang puffy eyes ko.

Kanina i was expecting na walang pumansin sakin sa office. Halos magtago ako ng station kasi ayoko nga ng eksena. Tahimik lang ako. Kaso mukhang buong floor alam na bday ko. At kelangan ipagsigawan. Kelangan talaga tuwing makakasalubong nila ko babatiin nila ko kahit nabati na nila ko kahit paulit ulit. Kelangan pasigaw. Kelangan may makarinig na iba. Ayoko ng eksena. Hindi ko alam kung nangaasar ba silang lahat. Pero kelangan paulit ulit. Kelangan pati tindera, guard at jamas alam na bday ko. Nagpantig tenga ko. Parang tumanda ako ng malupet. Naappreciate ko naman yun. Ok na siguro yun kesa walang bati. Gaganti na lang siguro ako pag bday nila.

One wish: good health for my mom n dad.

Ayun lang.

Easter Egg

Sobrang init ng ulo ko pwede na cguro ako maglaga ng itlog. Mainit pa sa tanghali, out of nowhere nagalburuto ako at sabay reply "id rather eat alone at home than eat wid them and feel alone." Sorry, call me maarte or what pero i really feel uncomfortable eating on the same table with them. Sorry if i refused the invitation. Di ko tlga sila feel ksabay kumain. OP ako. I have nothing to share. Di kami close. Di ko sila feel kausap habang ngumunguya ako.

I hate it when they stare at me while im eating. Fuck u im eating!!! If they have something to say, then say it! Hindi yung pinaparamdam pa na parang naligaw ako ng lamesa!

Para bang hinuhusgahan ako pag kmakain ako. I dont care kung wala akong manners sa table! So what kung huli ang soup? So what kung naka-indian sit ako kumain? So what kung makalat ako kumain? So what kung hindi ako sanay gumamit ng serving spoon? Pati ba pagtimpla ng milo kelangan may serving spoon pa? Umaapaw sa sabaw ang plato ko e sa trip ko sinigang na lugaw e. Yeah I talk even if my mouth is full, why shud they care?

Im used to eating alone na walang nagsserve sakin. Kung hindi nila abot yung ulam pwes tumayo sila. Self service.

Pag may okasyon sa bahay, salu-salo kami. Kainin mo kung anung trip mo. Magkamay ka kung gusto mo. We're not used to catering. Hindi kami fine dining. Kumuha ka ng sariling plato at baso wala kami paki basta lahat makakain!

you cant blame me kung di ko sila feel kasama kumain! Ayoko!!!! Pakyu!

Kahit kelan hindi ko sila makakasundo! We're like magnets wid da same pole. they dont have to pretend that they like me, i dont like them either! Im not an idiot! Pakyu! Its rude to stare!!!

Ayun ok na ko. Basag itlog lang. ok na.

Funkiness

Cosmic love, hmmm...interesting band name. i like like. parang pang extraterrestrial. i lurrvvv their sound. steady lang pachillchill. pang coffee break, pwede rin habang nasa beach. nice! Sana dumami pa kanta nila at mejo konting ayus at gupit ng hairlaloo yun vocalist apir apir na.





SinosiKat? nakita ko na sya mga ilang beses sa canteen namin dati sa pineda kung san nakatira ang dating jowaever nya. dala dala pa nya ang oldschool volkswagen bus nya na hindi pwedeng umatras, puro forward lang (ewan ko kung pano at bakit pero ganun talaga). never ko sya nakausap, hiya ako eh. dirrrty-looking bitch, pero gusto ko sya, pero mas gusto ko ang music nila.