...and i have to let you go.

I don’t want to hurt you. I know you’ll be happy with someone else, so I'm letting you go. You’ll find someone who will love you more than I do. I'm not right for you. And I'm not sure if you are right for me. I don’t think you ever needed me. But the thought of letting you go breaks my heart because in my life, you play an important part. I have to face reality. Everything has changed. I’ve never thought the day would come that you’d grow tired of me. I even remember the day when you said goodbye but you’ll never know how much it hurts for me.

I’m sorry for all that has been said and done.
I’m sorry if I didn’t make everything right.
I was in a tight situation.
Sorry if I seemed like I didn’t care.
Sorry if I didn’t let you move on.
Sorry if I made things so hard for you.
But what is it that you want from me? You’re saying that you don’t want to hear anything from me or see me anymore. You even took me off your friendster. You said it yourself, you don’t want me.
Everybody knows how much I love you so why do you say that I was being fake?
Why else would I spend christmas with you if I don’t love you.
I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I’ve wanted you. But since you don’t want me, I have to let you go. I have to move on as well. What the fuck else am I supposed to do?
But if you need a friend, just remember that I’m always here.
You’re free.

hafi nyunyir!

Haaaayyyyyyy! Taon taon nalang tuwing xmas or new year palagi na lang may nasisira sakin aaarrrgggghhhh!!! Natuluyan na talaga phone ko. Wala akong makita. Hindi ko tuloy natext ng happy new year yung mga friends ko. Alam ko sira sya pero ok pa sya nung umaga before ng new year’s eve. Ewan ko ba at baka namagic ni dkee yun phone ko. Hinawakan nya eh. Sabi na nga ba mabigat talaga kamay nun eh bumigay na tuloy phone ko. Pero hindi daw nya sinira, sira na daw talaga. Eh bahala sya. Alam ko naman magmamatigas yun katulad ko.
Anyweyz, ayun, as usual 6pm pa lang antok na ko. Nakaset na sa utak ko na matutulog ako para magising ako ng 12 o’clock. Gusto ko tumalon baka tumangkad pa ko eh. Badtrip lang pinipilit kasi ako ng ermats ko magsimba. Eh wala nga ko sa mood, ang kulet. Inaasikaso ko kasi cellphone ko baka tumino pa. Di ta;aga ako tinigilan sa pagpilit magsimba. Antok na ko, gutom pa. last kain ko 10 pa ng umaga. Kumakalam na sikmura ko. Padabog akong sumama. Nakasimangot ako pumasok sa simbahan. Nakikipagshake-hands pa sakin yung mga tao sa church pero di ko matanggal yung pagkabugnutin ko. Nagkakantahan, sayawan at palakpakan silang lahat samantalang ako nakatayo lang parang estatwa. Di gumagalaw, walang emosyon. Sa harapan pa man din kami nakapwesto. Paborito ng ermats ko sa harap eh. Habang nagsesermon yung pastor natutulog lang ako. Paminsan-minsan pag may signal nagtetext din pero sinasaway ako. Pero text parin ako. Mainit ulo ko eh. Pero may nakwento ermats ko na medyo natawa naman ko. Nalaman ko kasi na may bf na ate ko. 22yrs old tapos sya 29. Ayus naman. Parang little brother ko na yun eh. Nakiliala daw nya sa states. No wonder, hindi sya makwento sakin ng ate ko baka nahihiya dahil pagtatawanan ko lang sya. Kung sakin yun pwede pa.
Nakatulog naman ako kahit sandali. Sino ba naman hindi magigising sa lakas ng paputok ng kapitbahay namin. Eh goodbye philippines mga pinapasabok samin. Niyayanig bahay namin. Meron palang ganun na paputok. Nagpapantig tenga ko.